- Me: woah. Earthquake.
- Me: I've never felt an earthquake before.
- Me: better play it cool. I mean, people are used to it out here.
- Me: 6.0? Is that bad?
- Me: better go back to sleep.
- News: STATE OF EMERGENCY DECLARED IN CALIFORNIA
- Phone: 17 missed calls from Mom
- Me: oh shit.
According to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution.